Do I Judge Myself?

I've done it again! Wrote an article. Published it. The next day it hits me. I forgot to include an important concept. In the article I described an attribute of human behavior on the new planet earth. It was called "Judgement Is Over". I neglected to talk about judgement of self.

Funny thing is that self-judgement is one aspect that has played a big part in my life. It is also a very common form of judgement and the cause of an impediment to inner peace. We are, in many cases, our own toughest judges. Self-judgement is the root cause of lots of imbalances within us.

We love to judge our selves as good or bad or right or wrong. Whether it is our behaviors or our perceived "status" in our families or workplace or society in general, this judgement can cause us great strife. Mental illness and sometimes even criminal behavior can result from labeling our selves as bad people or good for nothing.

One of the most popular examples of self-judgement is one that I hear all the time. It is the judging of whether we have parental approval. This practice of measuring up to our parents expectations can carry through with people their whole life causing them endless feelings of unworthiness. This feeling then overflows into many areas of their life and can cause problems with other relationships. When we carry the feeling that we have let our parents down and haven't turned out the way they had hoped, it can lead to escaping into self-destructive behaviors to avoid facing our judged inadequacies.

As was offered in the previous article, judgement is not only just an illusion but it can also be destructive. My father was the closest thing to God that I knew. He was God in my eyes. I ached for his approval in everything. I had a burning desire not to let him down. To live up to his expectations. Of course, as is usually the case in examples of this kind of self-judgement, he was totally fine with whatever I did and loved me regardless of my behaviors or achievements. But I was my harshest critic. I had a blessed childhood. I was a straight A student. Quarterback in football, Pitcher in baseball. Tops in anything I attempted. I had it all. Or so everyone told me.

Everyone but myself. I knew I didn't measure up to what my father expected of me. At 16 or 17 I escaped into all kinds of behavior that diverted me from the pressure of figuring out what my life's work would be. I could be anything. Anything I put my mind to. That was too much pressure.

I partied for 10 years. Then, never became Prime Minister of Canada or head of a large corporation or rich and famous or anything really noteworthy. I had let my father down. I didn't love myself. I was a failure in his eyes. Well maybe not in his eyes but definitely in mine. I didn't love myself. I didn't even like myself. The root was my belief that I was not worthy. That I screwed up. Self-judgement impeded my inner peace for many years. Until June 7 2000.

My father died June 7 1990. I woke up exactly 10 years later to the day. It was a personal trauma that jolted me out of my sleep. It was then I realized that I was God. That I was the creator of my own reality. My reality had been misjudged. These feelings of lack of self-esteem were groundless. The feeling that I had let him down was not reality. Sure, he was God, but so was I. He never once gave me any indication that I was anything less than perfect. It had been just me judging myself for all these years.

For the first time in my life, my mind quit nagging at me. All was quiet inside. There was no internal chatter. No telling myself I was stupid or useless. I had inner peace. It is a feeling I carry to this day.

I learned later, after my Overlight training, that my primary life lesson in this lifetime was "love." The love of self being the main component. Self-judgement plays a big role in the mastering of this life lesson. If you have judged yourself to be unworthy or "bad" then it is impossible to love one's self. Loving your self is needed to love everyone and everything around you. It all goes hand in hand with our step into unity consciousness and a new planet earth.

That day in June is the basis for this whole article series about creating a new planet earth. I believe that if it can happen to me it will happen to us all. We can all obtain the inner knowing that we are masters. We are like Christ. We are all stepping into Christ consciousness.

The practice of judgement will be over. We will have the attributes that I am describing in this series. The new energy will bring us the answers we seek to the meaning of life. Without judgement of self or others, the inner quiet and the ability to enjoy second of every day will become our reality. The reality on the new planet earth.